Christmas

I am an insomniac. Frankly, it keeps my awake at night. To keep myself busy in the long nighttime hours I compose lists. I have to say that I excel at the art of list composing. They are endless. Lists of groceries, lists of chores, lists of writing topics and book ideas, you name it, I got it. I do wish I could accomplish some great work of art in the wee hours of the morning so I would have something to show for all the time I spend awake. Sadly, I can’t sew, paint or sculpt and the book is still stuck in my head. I could clean or cook but those activities seem too loud when the whole house is sleeping. So, instead I compose lists. It is a quiet activity and allows me to use my nice pens and pretty paper. It also gives me something to do without actually doing something, if you know what I mean. There is great potential in my lists.
Christmas gives me endless ‘to do’ list fodder...cards, gifts, cleaning chores, groceries, baking. I practically need special stationary to hold it all. I usually have big plans about finishing all the things on my lists so that I can sit down and quietly enjoy Christmas. In my mind I will finish all the shopping, cooking, decorating and cleaning and then sit down for a week and watch. The experts say we should do less to enjoy it more. But, I’ve realized that it is the doing that puts the joy in my Christmas.
The gifts for my nieces and nephews who will only know me through the gift they receive at Christmas, the cards to faraway friends and family I miss so much that whole pieces of my heart are broken, the things I bake that my children will remember when they are all grown up and Christmas reminds them of what was beautiful about our family, a big family, that laughed and cried, loved and fought, but in the end was always your biggest fan.
Someday my lists will be small and nothing will keep me awake anymore and I will miss every little person who put their handprints all over my heart and hope that they will fondly remember Christmas in our home. That it is the reason for the season, loving one another so much that it keeps us awake at night.
One of my kids favorite things about holidays are cinnamon rolls. There is nothing better than the smell of baking bread when you wake up in the morning. I am assuming since I am the one making them and not actually waking up to the smell. But, I bet it is nice. Mix them up on Christmas Eve, let them rise overnight and pop them in the oven Christmas morning. You will definitely be on the nice list!

Christmas Morning Cinnamon Rolls
Rolls: 1 pkg. active dry yeast
1 cup warm milk
½ cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup margarine, softened
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs
4 cups all purpose flour
Filling: 1 cup brown sugar
1 Tbsp. cinnamon or more if you like
1/3 cup margarine, softened
Syrup 1 cup light brown sugar
¼ cup margarine
2 Tbsp. maple syrup or corn syrup
¼ cup water

1. Dissolve yeast in warm milk (105-110 degrees) in a large bowl. Add in sugar, margarine, salt, eggs, and enough of the flour to make soft dough. Turn onto a floured board. Knead until smooth and elastic adding flour if it gets too sticky. Place in a well greased bowl. Cover and let rise until double in size.
2. Roll the dough on a lightly floured board. Roll it into a rectangle shape approx. 20 x 15 inches and ¼ inch thick.
3. For filling, combine the brown sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Spread the softened margarine over the surface of the dough and the sprinkle with the cinnamon sugar mixture. If your kids are not wimps, then add walnuts and raisins to this mixture, too!
4. Mix together the syrup over low heat and let cool. Pour into a baking pan.
5. Roll the dough from the long side into a roll. Cut into 1 inch slices and place evenly on top of the syrup mixture in the baking pan. Cover with plastic wrap and put in the refrigerator overnight.
6. In the morning, bake at 375 for 20 minutes. Remove from oven, cool for 5 minutes and then invert onto a serving platter.