Family Night

I had such high aspirations about kicking all my kids out of my house to play and then it rained… for forty days and forty nights. So much for that resolution. Instead, we were forced to batten down the hatches and play inside. Therefore, I am writing this while I play Settlers of Cataan. The reason I can write and play this game is that some people, who shall not be named, take forever on their turn. Can we please plan ahead, people? You know your turn is coming so be ready!
It is Sunday night and Sunday night at our house is family night. Don't mess with it. Don't make plans. Don't invite anyone over. Sunday is just for our family. When our kids were younger it was an informal park night or pizza and movie night, but as they got older and involved in sports and dating, it became necessary to dedicate one night a week to the family.
Family night shall not be confused with ice cream night which occurs on Tuesdays when Baskin-Robbins has dollar scoops. Tuesday is not mandatory, but strangely, most of our kids find time in their busy schedules to attend. Weird. This should also not be confused with Friday night which is pizza night. You know the night where we all relax and unwind after a long week—except mom who spends 3 hours making dough and assembling pizzas.
Some family nights start with a meeting. We might go over important news stories, new family rules, or interesting articles we have read. We talk about a lot of different things. Sometimes we talk about why mom is annoyed. This is usually related to laundry, bathrooms or food. These things always find a way to be undone, dirty or eaten. Take your pick. Besides undone chores, this would be the time we talk about anything that we want our kids to know from drugs (avoid) to morals (learn them) to caution (exercise it). One thing I am certain of is that if you do not tell your kids that something is not okay, someone else will tell them it is. Your kids need to know what your family expects of them and what your family stands for.
One way to do this is to have the whole family come together and write a mission statement. A mission statement will contain the rules and guidelines of your family and will also let them know the kind of person you expect them to be. Don't be afraid to be a parent. Kids need parents. In fact, I think it should be mandatory. This is a good time to establish the consequences for broken rules as well. That way there is never any doubt.
Family night is not all about talking, in fact, it is mostly about fun. We usually just spend time together and play. Because we have such different age ranges, from two to seventeen years old, we try to do some activities that are about teamwork. That way the younger kids feel some success playing and the older kids learn patience---well, patience is the goal anyway, but most teens in my family could work on that particular trait. You know who you are! Some of the games are educational and some games are just fun.
Teamwork building games include baseball, football, Pictionary and Cranium. Educational games are Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit and the just for fun games are Settlers of Cataan, Karaoke, Hide and Seek, Apples to Apples, Skip Bo and Yahtzee.
I stole this idea from a movie; you make a copy of a crossword puzzle and give one to each team. The first team to finish the puzzle wins. Another game I love is Scrabble but it is too long and slow for most kids and hard to play with a lot of people. To spice it up, a fun thing to play is speed scrabble where everyone plays at the same time without a board.
When it is nice outside, we play baseball, football or hide and seek. While I am sure that these games are safe for the average family, I have to say that some of our best emergency room visits have occurred on family night. Usually it is dad who needs a trauma specialist. I am not sure if we are too rough or if possibly he plays harder and more seriously than anyone else in the family. Some people can be so competitive.
Family night can be anything you want it to be. Use the time to talk to your kids, but also use it to play with them. It seems in this modern world we are so busy with all the running around we don’t have much time to just be. We don't even have time to eat together anymore.
Isn't it ironic that kids are so busy playing that they don't have time to play? How are kids going to know what is really important if we don't spend some time telling and showing them. We spend so much time catering to kids individually that they need to know it is not all about them. It is also about their place and importance within our family. They are a part of the best team---the family.